Ca, c'est la vie...or as my brother's poem goes, "C'est la vie, C'est le guerre, c'est la pomme de terre"....("that's life, that's war, that's a potato")
Anyhow, am in total agreement that you need a witness to attend your pick ups. But of course! In time it'll get better b/c it has to, even your ex has a wearing down point...and if she goes the other way and totally flips, you'll get the kids. See? Win win..
As for the dating, as someone here said, watch yourself as you are wounded. I'd hide the fact that you are a physician as long as possible Frank. Seriously I would. I think your ex hooked onto that and hid her flaws quite well before you married and she also hid her giant expectations too. Like the one where she said "I never expected to have to work at the age of 35"...(that's the comment that makes us "first wives" want to strangle the newbies. You know, those women who like doctors who are already finished with the unpleasant side of becoming who they are today, like the 96 hour work weeks, having NO money for YEARS, and finally coming home-oops, only to fall asleep AT the table while talking to the children...sort of. Yeah, those women FIB... beware) Again, leave out where you work b/c you could also get a stalker and I'm serious. Wackos of both kinds.
I'm reminded of the guy who said "a lot of women won't go out with me a 2nd time JUST b/c of my housing sitch" (translation-he shares a house with 5 other men, AND further translation, he's semi-homeless) AND one who said "all women care about is money" which MAY have been valid except it turns out HE decided monthly, what HE thought his kids needed in terms of money and sometimes he doesn't work so much and so...ooops, turns out he is on unemployment. (Yeah, she's so materialistic.) I read once that men wanted a mate who was attractive and didn't nag. And that women wanted security and fidelity. I have to say that the comment on women sounds about accurate for most. But as for us now...
When I talk to my single friends, I can say that MOST healthy attractive women over 40 (no I do not include your ex in this category) just want 1) a functional guy (=holds a job down and doesn't have a major glaring flaw like big gambling, a bad addiction, pathological lying, or a weirdo temper), 2) a man who won't be a succubus taking what little wealth she may have, (can't believe how many men are openly attracted to professional women b/c of the money and they're SO OBVIOUS about it!!) and 3) a man with a modicum of sensitivity and kindness who won't stomp on our or our children's hearts, and 4) physically, a man who can open the jar of pickles, thinks we're sexy, and can keep up if we go on a 2 mile hike... Am I off here ladies? Let's keep it simple now...
I assume you gentlemen here can also keep it simple, (of course you're ALL gentlemen) so you want a woman without batchittness and who doesn't hate all men...and who weighs less than you do (UNLESS you like your women meatier). Oh, and though we're all tempted to say men are oh so shallow for wanting pretty women, (well, you could concede that) let's agree that everyone wants to feel some chemistry for their prospective partners...
What is it that SHOULD be on those posts? I can say that if he describes his body as being "athletic" it apparently means he needs to lose 20 lbs. "Needs to lose a few" means a lot. While I do think it's nice to feel like the female of the species, why post comments that will make the date visibly disappointed when you meet?
Oh a huge turn off is the guys who won't date a woman their own age, or worse, no women over 40 although THEY are over 50 themselves. I mean, if they don't want kids, what's the problem? If the woman is attractive, why does that guy rule them out? Would he say no to Christie Brinkley? She's over 50. I think it's an ego thing that is a huge turn off b/c it reeks of insecurity and double standards. (Why even openly admit that? Just ignore the "older" ones if you want My brother dated a college student when he was 45 y/o and just looked foolish. He wanted a trophy wife but the thing is trophy wife wants a trophy h and in Washington DC that means you hold elected office (which you can lose) or you earn over $350k in a secure job. Took him 5 silly and expensive years to finally marry a woman of substance his own age.
FIB, you're going to be fine if you don't let that empty house make you start thinking batchitt looks good. Know what we mean?
Why not just have some fun with a good female companion, and see what happens from there? Isn't that what the "normals" do now?
((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
