I can't believe I am about to post this but hell I have shared just about everything else in my life with you all at this point.
It is 9:45 on a Sunday night and normally I am running around the house getting ready for the week. Kids, school, work, lunches, breakfast, laundry.......NOT TONIGHT!!!! My wife is passed out on the couch as I type this.
Let me jump to the chase.....we had sex tonight!!!! Totally unexpected on my part.
Was it alcohol induced? Yes. Do I care? No.
As I said in my last post, we were celebrating my S9's 10th birthday which is not until July 5th but we celebrate early b/c no one is around on the 5th. So we took a couple of his friends to this place where you paint ceramic pottery, figures, and stuff. Fun, right??? actually it is, better yet they serve beer and wine. Sorry if I offend any tea todlers out there, too bad....My W and I enjoy good food and good wine and good beer when a more casual setting is present.
So she comes over to the house and we all ride in the same car to the ceramic place. We set up the boys and I go and order a beer and a glass of wine for her. It is relaxing the boys are enjoying the craft time and my W and I are talking, touching and generally enjoying each other's company. Well a couple of glasses of wine and a couple of beers later we are feeling pretty good and the eye contact is strong.
We finish up at the ceramic place and head for home. We stop for pizza for the boys and she holds the pizza in her lap. Then starts the sexual inuendo (spelling ??? don't care) and eventually beach music comes on, that is Carolina Beach Music. My W and I love to shag, yes that is shag dancing!!! At this point it is obvious that we are both on the same page and the attraction is unbearable.
We get back to the house and send the boys inside and as soon as they get in the house we are all over each other. I can't believe this.... just 2 days ago I am in agonizing deep emotional pain and today my W, whom I love more than life itself is all over me like white on rice!!!!
We go inside and get the boys settled with some pizza and drinks and we can not keep our hands off of each other!!! The boys are fine and we slip off to the bathroom in another part of the house and it is raw attraction, but I don't care.
I always said I would make her get a test for STD's, don't care...(yes I am a dumbass, again I don't care)....I have not kissed, hugged or touched my W in a real affectionate way in almost a year (June 30th 2009) If I died today that would be fine with me.
It was awesome, exciting, erotic, insane, but most importantly it was real......Oh how I had imagined this moment for months.
The odd thing is that I am detatched...my emotions aren't there. I know she may wake up, regret what happened and we are right back where we left off. However there is a part of me that hopes......what can this lead to.
I keep telling myself this. I am changed for me and only for me. If she wants this that is great, if not that is fine too, her loss.
Son is in bonus room with friend for sleep over, D13 is at friends for a sleep over. (S9 has been sleeping in my bed for the last 10 months....got the bed to myself, D13 is not here, S9 is in other room. I know she may go home when she wakes but ohh for her to spend the night......WAKE UP DUMB ASS....DON'T FUKC THIS UP!!!!!!
Gotta stay detatched....no expectations.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
