I feel like i need to contact WAW

[knightinneed]

City girl, when WAW and I were getting along things were very settled. She asked alot of me during that time as I was drinking alot and also not going to church etc... She encouraged things to make me a better man, which now alot of it I have seen and have geared my efforts to changing.

I am not trying to defend her actions by any means, as her temper was explosive obviously when she gets mad, but when things were good I assumed we were happy being a normal family going to the dog park, out to eat, the occasional movie, and just watching TV in the evenings.

Now she nagged me about alot of things were true as I was very depressed wasnt on my anti-ds nor was doing anything about my messed up financial debt. I was just coasting and she seen this in me and nagged alot.

She felt i became weak, not a man, and was just floating and not interested in changing. I would get jealous of facebook usage etc... Not very manly at all. I have changed these bad behaviors and feel good in knowing that I have for me.

I feel that when we were just being normal before the fights, before cps, that things were good, unless I just think they were better then they really were.

She got really into religion and began to work as well, positive steps for her. After the CPS thing is when she really began to lose her mind.

I felt like overall she was a good mother before all that began, and I think with all this time on her hands it has her resorted to her past single life where she was hanging out with men and not being too responsible. Maybe she missed that life I honestly dont know.

I just think if all the changes I make, all the big complaints such as Finances being in order, Plans to move to better part of town, Me quitting smoking not drinking as much, My weight loss, My lack of assertivness and being able to control my temper as well that it has a possible chance.

I really think she is off on the deep end and avoiding reality right now, but I think she is capable to be that loving W that she once was. I dunno maybe I am offbase but I have a small shred of hope for her even if we never get back together, that maybe she will get it together for her daughter.

I know that if she had her daughter right now, she wouldnt be acting like some crazy cheerleader out partying and carrying on a affair.

I do know I must detach, and that is my plan. Detach, act as if, maybe block her facebook and try to forget. Its damn hard to not be curious. I do know one thing is that she is hellbent on torturing me, as she has added every ex-bf i know of hers to facebook probably thinking I will look and that it will hurt me more.

She blames me for ruining the relationship, getting her daughter taken away, and ruining her life. I hate being in this position, and well I guess i just have to let go.

As far as full custody, I am going to think this over very hard and make my decision after the next court date for CPS family court as I am hoping DD will be returned to me.