But in another post in this thread you advised to "make the home inviting". You mean by carrying my fair share and more around here? And just being a happy, fun-loving person that enjoys life and does not tick off his wife in any way?
Can I do that while still being detached? And what are going Dim/Dark, and are they applicable in this situation.
QS, make the HOME more inviting, but YOU no.. you wtihold emotional contact .. show nothing, give nothing...
Fix broken windows, paint the bathroom, mend the busted fence in the yard, all of that stuff...
When you show fear, sadness, etc your wife is gonig to get a kick out of it and push your buttons even more, she wants to HURT you.. its the addiction coming out there... its a VERY AGGRESSIVE addiction driven by guilt and pain... and it wants to hurt something near... you are the chosen target...
Suit of Armor my man... suit of emotional armor...
Make the HOME nice, but YOU do NOT open up to her, give her nothing.
Allen is right. It is a demon, I believe that does these attacks. They grow the demon through the affair and attacks on you. So it does not help you to appear vulnerable. It also does not help you to "take it".
Looking back, I feel I would have helped myself best to stay far away from mine when it started up and minimize communications. I tried to reason with it, like most of us have and it just doesn't work.
