Just Confronted - A Litttle Confused

[DaddyLongShanks]

Onthemountaintop:

She really wants nothing to do with me. She is requesting as much travel time for business as possible, she goes and visits family often, she texts her friends all the time with things like "I'm so glad I am getting out", ect.

If I even mentioned sex, she would get REALLY mad.

This is common. Mention sex, your needs, or re establishing equilibrium in the situation the wayward spouse will get very angry. You have been compartamentalized, and you aren't staying in your space, LOL. Its normal.

Lately, she has been very happy, outgoing, and calm. I am in the process of LRT and doing 180s.

I have to let her see the consequences of her actions on her own. She is always asking for her "space" since we live in the same house while all this goes on.

Every day, she gets more and more detached from me. And I am trying to do the same, and focus on me.

Every day she talks to those relationships who support the affair, every day she participates in the affair, every day she does her daily routine without you in mind, she's losing distance from you.

But the thing is, we cross paths all the time in the house and I an now pretty much ignoring her. ONCE in a great while she asks me something, and I just aloofly answer. I show NO EMOTION AT ALL.

An alternative is to look "loving", but from a low stress position. All of us have been in the house with a spouse who is not really there. Their body is there, but their mind and spirit are not.

She perceives this as I am "crazy" or "acting out" (her words). She is expecting me to be friendly and interact maturely. She sees the beginning of this LRT as "flip flopping" and she texts her friends about it telling them I am "going off the deep end".

I'd stay away from her. She is building up a larger negative sentament in her friends. However while these friends will drive the wedge in between you two, there are a couple in there who know she is full of $hit, even though they outwardly support her. Some of these female friends are wierd, where they are friends with your spouse, but hate her guts. Its a competitive thing.

She seems to be (outwardly) enjoying this, because she thinks I am ignoring her because I am mad/hurt/angry, and it validates her decision to divorce a "crazy unstable" person.

She says her friends/family/co-workers are "amazing support" and they all want her to be happy and leave me if that will do it.

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I don't know what it is in these "tear-down parties". Theres always a group involved, but it really is the wife's fault. She feeds the information about you, and it is to "prove her case". Like I said in this crowd there are going to be some who know she is "full of $hit", but they will outwardly support her.

I believe you spend as much time as possible away from her. You are detached in that you are doing some bachelor style activities outside of the house. You are handling responsibilities around the house when you are there. You can look stable and secure without appearing too strong.

Someone mentioned to get in really good shape, and improve your wardrobe if you have not done so. Clean your car and get out on the town. Don't do it to impress her, impress and take care of yourself. If the wife will get back interested, this is the way its done.

Also you may consider doing online chat with her behind an alias. Meet her at a hotel or something and make love like crazy to your wife. Women have fantasies. Find out what hers are and blow her mind.