He will be feeling some guilt, this is why he wants to talk... If he refused to talk to you he would be completely gone...
You need to take a strong position here and NOT let him just tell you "his plan" ... This marraige is his AND YOURS and you tell him that.. Tell him the "PLAN" is going to be decided by BOTH of you...
My concern here is that you are going to try to rationalize or negotiate with him...
That doens`t work with an addict...
he`s going to put up a wall of excuses to DEFLECT common sense...
The content of what you tell him won`t register much while he`s addicted....
HARD HITTING SIMPLE FACTS will.. particularly from an objective third party...
YOU are something he wants to escape from and avoid... all HIS problems he`s got pinned to you and he think she can avoid them by avoiding YOU... You trying to negotiate or reason with him won`t impact him much...
Addicts are TERRIBLY manipulative... you have to be VERY FIRM when dealing with an addict, you can`t accept any of their excuses or their lies... OR their pathetic attempts to soften the damage to the marriage by trading infidelity for yard work etc... He`s just trying to buy you off...
His objective is YOUR consent, acceptance, non-interference with his actions...
The more you interfere the more aggressive he will get, but that`s the best route to take...
Your husband is trying to steer you into an open marriage, he will use guilt, charm, lies, excuses, long drawn out dramatic brain vomit about just needing to do this, he`s in love, he`s been a good guy for years and gotten him nowhere, etc...
No matter what excuse he puts up, you give him the same answer :
NO
Do you have kids at all I don`t see a signature here...
