If you are a nervous disposition don't read this post. It is how not to act when in the presence of H.
H arrived unannouced this afternoon. He did text the kids to say he was coming. I haven't seen him for 3 weeks and other than the letter fiasco no communication.
Anyway I have been very positive about my way forward and life felt good.
Today when I knew he was coming I couldn't get the anger to disappear. This emotion is a new one for me. I removed myself from the room where he was and he came and found me. He looked brown but unshaven and miserable. I asked him why he hadn't had a shave and he said he couldn't be bothered. We talked about the letter and he got very angry about it and how OW had sent it.
I did get upsert when we were talking about it. He said he knew it would upset me. I then threw all the cramp at him, the kids, happiness and how I felt. He was nearly in tears at one point. Completely blew it. No detachment at all. He did say he worries about me. I told him not to as he has enough to worry about at the moment i.e work.
I also told him what I thought of OW aarrh! How she wasn't right for him and he's not happy and I would feel better if he was. He then told me that I had made him unhappy in the marriage for many years and he was very hurt about things I had said to him. I saw anger in him as well this afternoon when he talked about our marriage.
I did apologise and told him I was grateful for the text he sent about the letter. I did ask why she had opened his mail and he said she is methodical! So I said if you are methodical you can open other peoples mail then..........
I asked him if he wanted to see it and he said he did. He was physically shocked at what he saw. He reassured me that it will never happen again. I said I believed him but felt that she knew where I lived and I thought it was her true character. H said she has apologised and is shocked how she reacted and sent it wtf! I did point out to H that he took the letter from here on Thurs tea time, she sent the letter to me on Friday afternoon and then told H about it late Saturday morning. I told H that I thought it was very calculating. OW was also so sorry she then wouldn't tell H what she had put. This woman is nasty. H is angry. And I cocked up with the detached positive approach.......
At one point H asked me what I wanted and I said to be married to him. I know pursing and begging. I got them all in today lol.
Before he left he asked if I would be here for supper on Wed as normal. I said I would.
Interestingly he went to see my parents today. H hasn't been there for 7 weeks nor contacted them.
