Of course I didnt act like I didnt care !! But what I've discovered is that we were speaking two completely different " love languages" so the things I mentioned that I thought were showing her I cared werent what she needed to fulfill her.
Well it seems to me that you keep trying to tell us how you know her so well, and then come up with statements like the above. So, after 14 years you are just NOW finding out her love language? That doesn't sound like a man that knows a woman very well at all. Actually quite the opposite. I think you are fooling yourself a lot.
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At this point, I find it VERY hard to believe that she would actually be thinking about "losing me " to someone else.
Correct. She KNOWS you want her. She isn't the least bit concerned about losing you. Right now she doesn't want to be with you so we know that she doesn't feel the love that a woman wants to feel to be with a man.
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She didnt give a damn about what her EX was doing for 14 years when he broke it. So why should I expect any different ???
We don't know what she was thinking in the inner most recesses of her heart. You did say though that he chased her and pursued her for a long time. So we KNOW that what you are trying to do didn't work for him either. You told us he pursued her for at least two or three years. Looks to me like pursuing doesn't work on her very well.
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He pursued her for at least the first two to three years of our relationship regularly, only to be turned down cold every time.
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You keep saying, " of course she's pissed, it took this type of thing to you to be the man she always wanted " sooooooooo what Im just supposed to NOT make the changes ???
The difference is the way you are going about the changes. Making them while coming across as desperate doesn't work. Making them in a silent strength without pointing them out to her while also telling her that you will be perfectly fine without her is the way to go. Your choice.
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As for MCing ?? Like I said, on some level that is what we're doing with the neighbor counselor, whether she realizes it or not
Another mistake you are making. It is sneaky of you to go to the "neighbor" counsleor together and then when your wife isn't around you go pick the brain of your neighbor. Not a good idea on your part and I would suspect your wife doesn't trust your motives on this either.
