Im not "changing into the man she always wanted ". I WAS that man and lost myself and am changing BACK to what she fell in love with in the first place.
In my opinion/understanding, you are supposed to be the man she wanted IF that is who you want to be as well. Making those changes that you should've always made or always wanted to make. You are not supposed to be changing only to get her back, but rather to be the husband you'd want to be for any woman. Someone who many other women would fall for if they were as lucky as your wife. I've read others who've succeeded saying their spouse got angry that the person changed, but then loving as they could imagine themselves in a R forever with their spouse again.
I'd agree asking for the MC's number was a bit like saying, "are we going?". That is your choice IF you are ready for the answer (which sounded like a no) and will not even flinch.
I don't agree that Gucci's POV would work on all women. Obviously it worked for him and he wants to share it. You need to decide what you want to do, then do it, look for results, then replan/continue doing it. There is no perfect way.
I'd agree with many that you've been with her for long enough it is odd that she didn't divorce him. In a way, you are the OM and you are asking her to leave her husband. Having kids with her doesn't make your R more legitimate or committed. Unless she's willing to D him, I'd really suggest you reconsider considering going back to her without a legal divorce. After that, if she went to him, you could at least consider it an affair. Right now, it isn't.
Yes, keep calling your kids. I am screwing up when I am working late/out by not calling my kids enough. They DO recognize it and need it. When I do, I still talk to them like a dad even when W & I are having a rough patch. That is parenting.
When she has them, I'd suggest to avoid doing any "work" for her if you are(calling daycares, arranging things, delivering things, telling them to clean their room, etc.) If she didn't recognize your value before she left as a parent, I doubt she'd recognize your value when you are behind the scenes helping her. If she struggles to parent them without you, she would remember how much easier you made it!
Try for a good day...you must be under a lot of stress.
