embracing change

[june72]

Hi Flowmom- glad to see you back on the boards. I have been wondering about your son and wanted many times to send an email but didn't want to "add" to your stress and have your mind be occupied by another aspectg of live that can be worrisome. I found getting services to be frustrating at times. In NY state you can ask for an independant second eval and have the state pay for it. Or you can do a private eval and have the results compared. My son ended all services but will need to go back on. I really hated his latest OT and was content to have services end since she stated that my son is lazy concerning fine motor. Whatever. Anyhow, I feel your rollercoaster. My mommy gut has been correct about everything else- ie his genetic disorder and the need for hospitalizationn last summer, etc.- even when the Pediatricians basically scoffed at me. So it worries me....

Ironically I had a playdate with a mom who has her PhD in Special Ed and specializes in autism that stated my son seemed ok (I was embarrassed by his lack of interaction with the kids, he was kind of rebuffing them- so the autism theory came out) and was elated. Then, ironically enough, I have a neighbor that also has his PhD and specializes in autism (even written a book about it) and mentioned I saw the earlier gal and she wanted to network with him. He asked about my son and I happily she had stated son seemed ok. To my shock, the neighbor stated yeah, well she deals with severe cases- I deal with more Ausperger, high functioning cases. Why don't I give him an assessment. He seemed really dubious, I was heartbroken. It's like my emotions have been up and done in this area. Hubby is so calm about it- he states- bad autism no but maybe a PPD (remember he has about 15 years experience with autism). Then is always states it's a waiting game we have to see. Agh!! That coupled with some comments from the preschool teacher about some weird echolalia and other issues. Worrisome. Oh yeah, he also tested very high in the intelligence area- 95%. The evluator was impressed but I just found it frustrating- for such a smart kid- he seems to really lack in interaction and social skills and just an understanding of common life day to day events. Oh yes and there is the Sensory Integration issue where noises, smells even tactile issues really get him to flip out.


Anyhow,I found this really awesome great book and I thought of you immediately. Just published- 1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Autism or Asperger's by Ellen Notbohm. I have only read the first few pages and found myself thinking everything was so spot on. It so seemed to fit my son. The first chapter really delves in to sensory issues and has some great insight and really expains things perfectly. I am really eager to read through the enitre book. Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst.

I'll be honest. It's hard for me to come here and read about beautiful, caring people who want to reconcile with spouses who don't deserve a second (or third or fourth, etc.) chance. Although I still like and love my H, I'm not sure if I'd be willing to overcome my hurt and rejection if it wasn't for the kids. I'm not sure how much of a DBer I consider myself at this point. I'm so grateful for this forum though...and I think about you folks even when I am not posting.

I hear you! I feel these boards are filled with codependant, unhealthy people that feel there life will not go on with out their spouse. That they can not live life without their spouse- such an unhealthy attitude. That under the guise of DB they will put up with all sorts of nonsense in hopes of getting their spouse back. Ironically I think DB more is about establishing healthy boundaries and finding the strength within yourself to stand on your own two feet with or without spouse. It seems that people want to ignore that part and twist DB to mean codependant- at least that is how I see it.