Very strange weekend. For the very first time in over 28 years together - H goes away and makes NO contact with me. I see him at S's ball game and he says "Hey - everyone at the wedding said to say hi to you. You really should have gone." I said that after our interaction Friday morning I didn't think that I could keep it together and fake it through the event. I then apologized to him for upsetting him or disrespecting him by interrupting his conversation with S. I said that I could see how he thought what he did. He said thanks. Kept respectable distance through out day at S's games.
At home, told H that S had asked about what was going on - I told him how I answered him and he seemed to think that I handled it appropriately. H says so where are we? I said that things S said to me - like how great we have it, how we all get along, etc. keep me wondering where things went wrong. I said that I know he feels that he would like the opportunity to find out if there is a better match out there for him - but he would have to choose to make it work with someone new. That I wish he would choose to make it work with me. He said so is the ball in my court now? He said that he didn't plan on telling the kids this week that he was leaving. He said "You are the one who said you can't live with the poison any longer." I said that in all the years we have been together I can NEVER remember a time where I have been treated with such hostility, disgust, etc. for so long. I said that this time has been so difficult because it feels so counterproductive and that we have always been the "do anything to make things better" parents, friends, workers, etc. - and that I didn't feel like we were operating that way right now. S arrived home - conversation ended. This morning he and S went to bb games - me home alone and LOVING it.
So LBS friends - did I handle this correctly? Am I "standing"? Am I engaging in the craziness? Part of me feels like by me not going to the wedding and not contacting him I "detached" myself from his behaviors. In the past I would have been overwrought and desperately trying to make contact with him. This man though is not the same man from those times.
If anyone has time to read my lengthy post (sorry for being longwinded!) - would love your thoughts!

Last edited by irishblessings; 06/13/10 01:46 PM.
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years
Ds-24,22/S-18
D - 3/11
A Day at a Time