MLC spouse projecting their negativity onto the BS

[job]

The trance like state is her depression. They crawl within themselves for a bit. Many do this.

Replay is the stage where they go back in time to the place where their emotional state was stunted. It's where they stopped growing emotionally in order to mature adults. They begin to change their appearance, i.e., hair, dress, body piercings, tattoos, etc. They can even change their likes and dislikes of food, beverages, activities/hobbies. It's where they become the exact opposite of the person that you know and love. It's the experimentation stage of growing up. They will try all types of things to see what actually fits and makes them happy. This could include a new "soul mate" or many during this time.

The peeking out of the tunnel will occur many times during the crisis. You have to remember, this crisis isn't about you, but her. The peeking out and interacting w/you, family and friends is a way to touch base. Many times, when they do peek out, they warm up a bit and they realize that they have slipped up and allowed their true feelings to come out. They can't accept those feelings as real just yet. They do not want to get too close for fear of us seeing this as promise of getting back together. It's all part of the mlc.

I would suggest you read up on depression as depression drives the mlc in people. Once you have a better understanding of depression, you'll begin to see that your wife has many of the traits. Please remember, this is not about you....