I feel like i need to contact WAW

[knightinneed]

Timeheals yeah i agree, i probably shouldnt have even been talking with her friend, but i was curious and was using her to get information. I honestly wish I hadnt talked to the friend, her mother, anybody. I wish I had the strength to go dark and just be dark about it all.

I guess WAW stirred up things with me when she brought OM to court with her which now I know she did that to hurt me intentionally.

After that happened is when I just had to know the truth, and begin checking facebook pages and google searches etc... I honestly do not regret exposing the ea or pa whichever it was, but I look back on all my contacting of WAW friends and Mother as just plain stupid.

I am focused on DD1 and have a healthy dose of detachment today, as my nerves are more calm now that I know this affair thing is busted it seems.

I do however hold out hope that 1 day far down the road, there could still be something for us. I still love her, I know that she is in pain, depressed, scared and not herself. And I just feel like she hates me even more after all these new developments.

I think if OM Wife calls I am just going to tell her that I need to just step away from all this and I hope that she can repair her marriage since they have 2 kids.

I have a court date on July 15 and I am hoping that we can get no contact dropped - a solid plan for visitation - and for her to file the D if that is what she wants.

Does anyone think that it would be ridiculous to still want to DB after all this? I believe in my heart I will always love her and always dream of that peaceful time with WAW and DD1 by my side.