6 MONTHS IN AND FEELING A WOBBLE........

[lalxx]

Hey Mila and punkin,
My husband tells me time and time again that what he and OW has is 'true' and 'pure' ..... this just doesn't sit comfortably with me and the man that he used to be - I believe he believes he is in love with Trout Face and he is certainly in the throes of the first passion and lust of their relationship. I think these hormones and powerful emotions (which are biological after all) are what drives his actions a lot of the time.

I think he thinks Life minus Wife equals his happiness and freedom - but real life says that ain't going to happen surely??

Prior to any experience of MLC I have always been the kind of person that thought 'well if something is over it is over and there is no point in hanging on to something which has died....'

My husband's whole view is that this whole situation is my fault???!! I have got better at validating that view and then moving the conversation on. His past means diddly squat to him right now unless it is his rewritten version.

I met one of the partners in the solicitors practice my husband is using this week at a motivational speaking event. I smiled whilst I said to him that the guy who is handling my husband's divorce should take a nice letter writing course and remember that there are 2 sides to every story and pompous letters written with half the facts are not conducive to constructive divorces, particularly where children are involced and an adulterous party. The guy took my comments in the spirit they were intended.

I think the MLCer has a need to control the situation so much and this also included the future - the LBS divorcing them means they can put whatever spin on it they like in the future whether they are with the person they left the marriage for or not. I feel as if this is a driver for my husband - so he can sya to our children in the future 'your Mum divorced me kids, I wanted to work things through.....'

I have had a busy week this last week - done a lot of thinking and reading on the forum but not much posting - hit a bit of a breakthrough this week which I'm hoping to be able to get into words soon - still growing and still kicking myself up the butt every day!

Gutted England only managed to draw against the US this evening - our boys make it so hard for themselves sometimes!!


((hugs))

lalxx