Young Wife wants to walk away

[Ton Of Bricks]

EXCUSE me sir, but you said in your very FIRST POST that you are 15 years older than your W, not 12. And I believe you said you took her in when she was 16. I understand the backpedling now--I really do. .

My Birthdate:02/13/71
Her Birthdate:12/08/82
I am exactly 12 years older. I also stated our current ages somewhere in an earlier post. When I began posting I didn’t realize that I was going to be called to question on my age and didn’t care about the accuracy of the facts involved. I also admit that I am backpedaling somewhat. 12 years/15 years is not much difference.

This was not a normal courtship. This was not an R gone into by two consenting adults. This was an R destined to crumble and fail--it's not built on mutual love and respect. You may have had the feeling, being an adult. But she wasn't. You just are not going to get away from that fact. .

I am not willing to give up just because our start was not mutual. She tells me that there are a lot of things that she loves about me. You have good insight here. If our marriage is to be saved, it will have to start all over and cannot just “resume” .

I am not going to guess, but I bet in therapy you may learn you liked the control you had when she was young. .

Not sure. I am not someone who always wants all of the control. It’s too much work. I prefer a relationship of equals, believe it or not. I have always felt as if I had too much responsibility in our relationship. It caused me to harbor a lot of resentment toward her. I didn’t realize that she was not ready for the amount of responsibility that a family would bring.

You liked the fact that really you didn't have to court her. .

I agree with that statement. I courted a LOT before her and I think I was just tired of it all.

Decent men DON'T want to build an R on this type of foundation. But you did.

LauraOh, you sound very wise. When I was 29, I was not mature enough to look at a relationship from such a perspective. I may not have been decent enough to consider the foundations of our relationship, but I WAS decent enough to marry her and stay true to her. Please give me some credit, or are you here to simply beat up on me? Believe me your point has been made. I accept responsibility for my actions and have prayed to God for forgiveness. I am not the same 29 year old idiot. I am now a 39 year old idiot who wants to see if there is anything I can do to salvage our marriage.
I am here for advice. She has not yet divorced me, nor filed any separation papers. She has simply just left. She says that she MAY be making the biggest mistake of her life. She is taking her time. I am leaving her alone, not calling or begging or pleading.

You never answered me--I take it you didn't educate her then?

I felt like I was being attacked which is why I didn’t answer at first. I kind of feel like I am getting more derision than advice. I was not in a position to educate her. I set up two appointments for her to get her G.E.D. the first she didn’t go to. The second one she did. After the pretest, it was determined that she would only need to study a little to qualify. She did not pursue it. I could not force her to pursue it, nor would I. She is a woman with her own mind and is not stupid by any means. Do you really expect that it was my responsibility to educate her?