Another question. The counselor observed in our last meeting that I was angry, even though I denied it. Since she is our neighbor and its simple to walk across the street, I told her the next day she was right, I am angry. Im angry about alot of things. Angry about the sitch, angry that my WAW has choosen to leave instead of seeing the damage that is inevitable our children, angry at myself and my part in this, angry that for now she wont say she wants us to be able to resolve this. I KNOW her walls are WAY up and thats a big part of it.
My question is. Since she told me the other day not to " sugarcoat things " if I had something to say, do I tell her during our next meeting on Tues that YES IM ANGRY and why ???
I dont mean a vicious, mean spirited broadside, but just admitting outloud to her that Im angry about the way things have turned out and will be for the foreseeable future. Our dynamic in the past was for me to always be willing to calmly talk about whatever our problem of the moment was, while her preferred method was to "vent " and rant to get things out. She had mentioned before that it infuriated her that I refused to engage in a screaming match with her. Although " infuriated " may be to strong of a word to be honest, maybe frustrated is better ?
Its so hard trying to figure out what move will push her further away and what will help even the smallest in drawing her back. Back in the very beginning of the meltdown, she made a cutting remark about needing a MAN(emphasis hers) !!! Now thats a loaded statement in alot of ways. I know what people here say about being "manly " by being confident, leading the way ,stable , etc. But then she's also turned around and complained about why all the changes Ive been making and " stepping up " are happening NOW , only after getting to this point, like she's pissed that Im making it hard for her or something to justify to herself what she's doing.
