SIL had her baby today... H sent me a text this morning. She had her baby within 3 hours completely natural! H was on way to hospital and was sad he missed it... UM HELLO!!! You will most likely miss the birth of your child too!!! Guess he doesnt realize if I feel something in the middle of the night, he will not be by my side... or wherever he may be and i know he doesnt hear the phone or anything when he is sleeping! Oh well... guess its a chance he has to take.
So happy for my SIL. It's pretty strange I am not at the hospital with them right now. FIL called me this morning to tell me she was in labor, and SIL sent me a text after the baby was born... truth is, I feel out of place. I am not part of their family any longer. It's really sad. I feel a lull today. I would have normally been there in the waiting room anxiously waiting for them to tell us the great news. Instead I am on here trying to fight the tears... and accepting that this is the reality of my sitch. Hate that I am making a day about her into a day about me... not to anyone else, but I shouldnt even be thinking this way. I wonder what is going through H's head... wonder if any of this makes our baby realistic to him... he just sent me a picture of him holding her and sending text updates w/ her name and weight. Glad he is excited...
Wonder if he feels my absence right now being with his family, which I have been a part of for 12 years... probably not.
He doesnt care about anyone, especially not me, only himself.
