useful link with WS perspective on ending affairs

[Allen A]

I don't know, Alan. If somebody is acting up and acting out in a way that neither they (under better circumstances) or any reasonable person would support, the thing to do is to just let them have their tantrum without you being present, IMHO.

The thing to do when things are out of control is to state your boundary (e.g. "I am not going to discuss this until we can do this calmly") and leave.

OK, so when does the name calling start with that strategy? You've backpeddaled completely from your earlier position.

[TimeHeals]

OK, so when does the name calling start with that strategy?

I didn't tell him to call her names. I just labeled the behavior. It is what it is however temporary it might be.

My point is that you don't dignify the behavior. You learn to set a boundary and walk away from that kind of thing.

[Allen A]

Sleazy ass isnt a label, it's name-calling... I understand you are trying to be supportive, I do it too...

QS is having a lot of trouble controlling himself under the situation... He's just compelled to do all the wrong things... many of us do all the wrong things at first...

I just hope he starts to read these posts carefully for the constructive content in them and do the work to put that content to good use.

He has what he needs to put a stop to this if he wants to... But he is having a very hard time focussing... I think if he had kids he would be better able to do so...

[CD Bear]

Allen- I'm clearly in a similar spot to QS. What is the video you are referring to here?

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2019648&page=1

Thank you.