Be careful, he isn't going to give you any.. he's going to be talking and pressuring you into an improvised, non-recorded conversation while he's in panic and later on can deny every word...
avoid that.. Its just more addict manouvering...
Give him a "talk to the hand" and walk away
Send him an email while you are away and tell him if he has anything he wants to say to start writing and you will read it when you are ready
Yes - and you're so right that I want to avoid the impromtu conversations. I bet he will call or text while I am gone. I will wait until he does and then respond in email. I feel like if I email first it would change the power equation right now.
No, if you email him telling him to start wriitng NOW it won't change anything...
Start the email off by saying
I do not want to hear your voice when I get there and don't want to hear anything from you.
I do understand you have things you want to say - so write them down in an email and send them. I will read them when I am ready to. This lets YOU say what you want NOW, and I dont' have to hear it until I feel like it. When I walk in the door I don't want to see you there or hear from you.
Start writing.
You can play with this all you want... I dont' think sending something like this will throw things off at all... It actually implies there's some hope which is what you wanted him to hear, even though you aren't saying anything specific.
Well - I have been at my mom's house for 3 days now. H has texted a couple of times to ask how our daughter is doing - I have just responded with quick, but positive, texts back: "She is doing great - having fun playing with kitties and hanging out with gma and gpa". He hasn't pushed beyond that.
He is likely staying in our home while I'm gone - I haven't asked, but it wouldn't surprise me if he's run from his mom's house now that that is getting intense given my exposure. And, phone records show him texting with our neighbor, which likely means he's home. Not sure how I feel about this or how much I care - also not sure I can control it even if I do care. The positive would be that it has all the family memories he will be haunted by - the negative would be that he's not accountable there because no one knows what he's up to.
Though my neighbors would likely tell me if the girl appeared - they did tell me the time she stayed over at our house (which of course my husband still claims was harmless - "her brother was with her and they had to stay because their parents' house where brother still lives is being renovated and they didn't have beds". He did provide a picture to me of her in a under-construction living space, but I still doubt it was harmless . . .).
I wouldn't even respond mel, just ignore his texts.. he ignored the marriage when he ran off to be with OW... he wasnt' accountable so why should you be?
