She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[tbart01]

Well it's another week down, and another week of status quo. The good part I guess is that there's no changes for the negative, but we still remain the same.

Last weekend she was telling me that she wasn't sure she wanted to be with me, but she also didn't want anyone else to be with me. I guess that's a natural feeling, but it also got me thinking she could let this thing go on like it is just because of that.

At this time all we're really doing is building a friendship, which I find frustrating. We went to the MC and her the C both think there's nothing wrong with that.

I told the MC that the two of had never dated and had a friendship, so this seems backwards. My W and I have had a mutual desire and attraction fr 23 years, so this new getting to know each other is a little weird to me.

I told them that I felt this decision was ultimately going to come down to me because my W will never let her guard down enough to let me completely in. She keeps commenting on how she notices this change and that change and how I've been walking the walk.

She needs time to make sure the changes are enough. She needs to make sure I'm someone she wants to be with. The frustrating part is I'm expected to just give her as much time as she needs to make up her mind.

When I brought up in MC that I thought I would need to make a decision at some point because I can't do this forever, I kind of got bombarded. Are the LBS really expected to wait around forever?

I'm moving forward living my life, but the more I do that, the harder it gets to want to stick around for her to decide. It just seems like an unfair thing to have to do. guess we're going to reassess after two months on where we're at. That's 5 more weeks from now

On another note, yesterday she asked about her going to Las Vegas for her friends wedding in September. She's been complaining about money allot, and may lose her job later this month. I told her that I didn't think we Vegas type money, and that her asking about this trip made me wonder where we would be.

I asked this, because this is a mutual friend of ours, but the talk is of her going not us. She never responded on the money part, but she said she couldn't see that far ahead as far as our relationship.

This is an incredibly frustrating situation to have to go through that's for sure. I'm just not sure I have the patience she's asking for to continue to go through this. It's absolutely draining me emotionally let me tell you.