NM..I am torn on having the kids call him...that would still be controlling...IF they ask to call him that is one thing but I suggest it then I would still be controlling H thru them and am afraid they would say "Mom told us to call you or Mom said...etc" especially D11...she talks to much like her mother! BUT, if H calls then I could use some of those scenario's you suggested definitely!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I think you are doing the right thing by letting H call the kids. Sometimes those sweet little darlings can & will say something you don't want them to say so just let them handle it & don't say anything to them you don't want H to hear or know.
yes, kids do have a mind of their own! I'm sorry- I had the impression the kids were asking to see their dad and wanted to call him! Sorry that I misunderstood! :-)
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
After some computer issues (too many thunderstorms around here lately) I actually have something to journal about!
Got a phone call yesterday at work that we had a huge branch fall (1/2 way in to the street). Great...she said cars could still pass so no hurry on getting it moved. D11 called and said she called H and he said "if the neighbors don't get it moved, to call him" so I guess he is relying on the neighbors to take care of his issues now.
My female neighbor (who is handy with a chainsaw btw) did come by and get it on the ground all the way for safety and helped get the branches off the street. She saw me out there with the wood saw and took pity on me. Her and her parents both burn a lot of wood and she told me she and her Dad would come if H didn't and I said that would be fine and they could have the wood.
H did not ask about it at all today when talking with D11 and did not ask to talk to me.
Yesterday, H took S14 to summer school and was going to meet his sister for lunch (relunctantly I am told)
My SIL said
she didn't bring up anything about what's going on, they talked about their parents and his heart issues, she said they talked about S14 quite a bit and the hunting trip she and her son are going on. She said he was figity the whole time and kept looking over his shoulder so she wasn't sure if OW was in the resturant or not, but it was like he was looking for someone.
Typical actions of a mlcer??? I am wondering if he wasn't worried that I was going to show up like an ambush...
DIL invited H to come for dinner tonight and he told her he had to work. He called this morning and talk with D11 and is going to pick them up tomorrow morning to spend the night at his house. Hate it but glad they can spend some time with their Dad even if OW is there too...sigh
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Forgot to mention this earlier...S14 tells me that H was speeding around corners on the motorcyle when he picked S14 up for summer school and yesterday he had our vehicle and was doing the same thing and going thru the dips in the intersection at high speed and laughing...must be the "teenager" in him showing up.
S14 also said that H has had to stop and relieve himself off the road on the way from his town to where S goes to summer school (about 50mis) during a couple of the trips...he does drink a lot of water but am thinkg prostrate issues??? idk
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
CW - Interesting observations...you may be right on both counts. The speeding part would be worrisome if your son was riding with him.
The teenager part I see in my H as well....he was always a very careful guy. D told me that when they went away for the weekend...she did the driving and he kept telling her to go faster and pass people on curvy roads, because they were driving to slow (speed limit). I was not impressed...she only has her learner's license.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Wow- wonder why your H was so nervous being out with DIL!
Good to hear that your H called the kids on his own. Yeah, it is annoying they are with OW!!
So your H couldn't drive an hour without stopping to relieve himself? Could be a prostate thing!
I wonder if your H has any repressed anger (sounds like psychobabble) because my WH used to speed when he would be in a bad mood!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
My H has always been a little daring but not usually so much with kids in the vehicle but there were times when I had to get on him about doing stuff. Mila, how scary for your D!!!!
As for the speeding...it just seems like he is always in a hurry...am sure it is the same thing with sitting with his sister....in a hurry to go go go...to nowhere I am sure..but I do think NM that he probably does have some repressed anger
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Typical actions of a mlcer??? I am wondering if he wasn't worried that I was going to show up like an ambush...
I'm guessing he was in hurry b/c he didn't feel "safe". This is based on my observations of my H in MLC when he was living at home. He was always in hurry to get home to his cave.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
