it is true.. we devoted.. I devoted my heart and soul to this guy. i agree with you glam -- healing takes time and i love what you said that it "Doesn't mean we are stuck". just so hard to believe that i still think about him.
in regards to my d-- yes he does show up like clock work every other weekend - and FOR HER i am very very thankful!! it is important TO HER.. so it is good.
i guess i just pictured that by now i would have been further along. OK that was a lie. i never thought i would stop crying. never thought my heart would literally stop hurting.. .. i guess i thought if those things took place then i would go to the next phase...
and yep.. i pray for him. i pray for his mental health.. his heart.. his soul. i used to pray the "GET HIM GOD" prayers.. dont do that anymore. i actually pray FOR him.... and if you were to read my journals over the past 20 + years you would see that i always have.. he was always depressed or being "pushed" at work.. something......
i hadn't seen him for almost a month but tonight it didn't work out like i had hoped.. but it is ok. as you all know - he is very "nice" and well it is fine.
our anniversary is coming up.. or what would have been..... that is probably knawing at me a bit...........
sorry.. just me being me.. and T - thank you for saying that i "say it well" ........... ha i jsut come on here and talk..... trying so hard not to vent to others .. i use my c .. just well you all know..
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
