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I feel like two people.
well said! your descriptions are how i feel to a T! it's good to hear someone else is in the same boat b/c i really thought i was going insane.
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I feel like I've been trying to 'fake it till I make it'
i hear ya...this has been sooo hard but you gotta do what you gotta do.

love your list of concrete goals...it does help to have something concrete to refer to. i honestly do better for days after i make my "lists." keep us posted on how your goals pan out. smile

especially this one cause i haven't figured it out yet...
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8. I will begin to trust myself to do what is right. I will act on things I KNOW not things I THINK or FEEL. I will stop assuming the worst and writing scripts in my head.
i could win oscars for the screenplays i come up with in my head!