QS you GO to family therapy.. NOT some quack psychologist but a trained marriage therapist...
You set an example for her to follow... you have at least 90 days right?
Take it easy, this is a marathon...
You find a good family therapist first and you go on your own to set an example.. dont' ask her to go wtihout even having one ready... tha'ts just silly
Has he given you his busienss card with a hand written invite to your wife on the back?
Have you told her PARENTS that you aer giong and your wife is snubbing a professional family therapist?
This will freak your wife out - invite HER PARENTS to a session so the FT can meet THEM... your wife will be livid, but if your parents go I am sure it would put her parents in your pocket...
You just need to d-bust the parents too QS, but they aren't addicted, so its a LOT easier...
Did you watch that video I posted?
I think you should get them to watch that IN the SESSION and then talk for 30 mins with the FT and the parents... all four of you...
If her parents tell her outright no other man will be welcome in their home if she runs out on you she will be hard pressed not to back down and attend family therapy...
You could list whom you exposed to in your signature as well, I am encouraging this to posters... I think its as important as the bomb and filing dates... exopsure dates and to who
Had a minor setback tonight. She came home with all the financial documents from taking them to the lawyer.
I let my emotions totally get the best of me and carried rhe conversation too far.
I asked why she never planned on giving me the fair chance, and why I had to compete with the other guys. I said some stupid things, like I would never compete with another guy in my own home.
She just appears so HAPPY she is filing for the divorce. She said "I am putting ME first, and not worrying about you". "You were never a partner". "You never gave me enough intimacy".
God, why am I so stupid? 2x4's if you will guys. I know I deserve it, but I am so emotional and scared right now.
I've never seen her so strong, confident, and sure of herself as I have right now. God, she has me terrified.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
One of the reasons I feel all this happened is that I spent FAR too much time away from her and not interacting with her. I feel like she is USED to it by now.
I am not questioning what to do, but how is staying MORE away from her going to make her chase me, if alot of what I did BEFORE was be emotionally unavailable.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
Once a spouse goes wayward they build a wall and are resisting letting you IN...
Tell me about it. She is so disgusted with me that she can barely look at me. Her anger is so palpable about me contacting her "friends". In fact she told me tonight that she was just looking for "fun", something she says we never had in the marriage.
I am starting to see the point about not believing anything they say.
She's got so much "support" from her friends that it's like a man-hating group.
She will be away all next week, then home the week after, then away the week after that. If I can steer clear of her, and keep those other guys away, then I have 3 straight weeks of detachment to start with.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
Good to see you back QS.. NOW you are getting it...
You need to accept that she's ILL right now.. did you watch that video YET???
What's with that?
You need to stop engaging her when she talks.. NOTHING GOOD is going to come from it right now.. she's completely WILD right now and whatever you say or do she will twist like a pretzel into something that will just HURT YOU
Steer clear... Ever saw a rebellious teenager after their parents run away to Europe?
Get her parents into that family therapy office and get them educated.. she is NOT going to listen to you.. You need to educate her parents into speaking with her... GOD MAN. how many times do we have to write that?
Watch the video...
Stay away from HER... watch the video...
Stay away from HER... watch the video...
Stay away from HER... watch the video...
If she approaches you and says anything that even REMOTELY looks like its headed no place pleasant fast...
