Newbie.Trying with faith and hope to save marriage

[papayachic]

Now you have a problem because you want to reconcile and yet you still haven't let "little boy" grow up because you always took care of things for him. This is an issue for both of you. He is mad because he has been a child and now he is having a tantrum because he has never really had to have discipline in his life before now.


You need to stop being mommy and he needs to grow up and become a man. He can't do that unless you allow him to fail on his own. Your pattern is to save him. Bail him. Tell him what to do. That has to stop.


Mommy needs to let her little boy go and succeed or fail and do this on his own. Don't enable this behavior. Call him on it. Just like the credit card issue. He probably lost his mail or threw it accidently in the trash. Next time, tell him that you sent it and it is his responsibility what to do about it from now and to NOT bring it up again. Let him get angry with you. Anger is a child's way of showing respect.

You are correct. Funny thing is just an hour ago, his student loan company called me. Apparently he hasn't paid his bill this month. Everything was connected to my cell number and bank account.

I just went through everything and put his cell number on it and deleted anything with my account. All his bills will start hounding him now.
I will tell him that I changed everything to his cell and new address when I speak to him.

And I spoke to soon. He is with OW. She just text him an hour ago. ughhhhh.....