Don't (or never) make someone the priority when you're the option.
This is PROFOUND!
NOW I "get" the allure of the OW! This is what she does! She teases him, he wants her, but since he goes home to his family every night and she's not HIS priority, she refuses to make HIM hers...and it's making him crazy addicted!
It's like he's Tantalus in Greek Mythology, stuck in a lake (marriage), obsessing over the alluring fruit that's just out of his reach (OW).
So the purpose of the 180 is to "unlock" the lake and let him grab the fruit -- which he does, greedily. But with a 99% failure rate, he predictably grows weary of the fruit, heads back to the lake...and discovers it has disappeared in his absence. OMG! That wasn't supposed to happen! How's he supposed to get back to his family?!
He panics and starts doing all kinds of silly rain dances, trying to entice a deluge to refill the lake so he can go home. If it rains right away, he's relieved. But if it doesn't...he panics again.
How could he be so foolish?! Was he REALLY that short-sighted? Will he EVER see his family again?
If he does, he will CERTAINLY think twice about EVER reaching for that ridiculous fruit again...
So...
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, it to REVERSE the position of the fruit and lake in his mind. Right now, the lake is the shackle, the fruit is the temptress. But once he gets a taste of the temptress, he'll realize just how good he had it at the lake.
But when he goes back to the lake...it's gone! Now the LAKE becomes the ideal, the temptress the disappointing, grim reality.
NOW I get it!
To quote Shakespeare, "Lord! What fools these mortals be!"
