Need a Plan for My Marriage

[DaddyLongShanks]

Don't listen to her, its not true. What if the point was on the way out to damage your esteem? Why should we let it.

Since I was a contractor, I had been through so many job interviews a no-go doesn't bother me. I actually gain confidence through the inverviewing process. Figure out of 50 physical interviews your going to have some offers.

Out of 5 physical interviews you may not have an offer.

You should be gaining confidence too. For me the way its working is to look forward, wife and situation around it is in the back and I'm not supposed to look backwards.

You probably where a great and selfless husband. Look forward to being a great boyfriend to a good female or a good friend and what that entails.

[idontunderstand]

LSG,

It's tough out there, I know. Don't let go of the hope and strength and confidence you have found. Keep pursuing your goals. I agree with DLS; always look forward and never look back.

Keep up the good work and hang in there.

I hope you have a great weekend.

[CityGirl]

I think the best thing you can do for yourself when your W says nasty things to you in an argument is simply say "sorry you feel that way" and end it there. An argument can only continue if you participate.

Hurtful statements by the WAS can cut you (generally speaking) to your core but really, you can't control what somebody chooses to verbalize but you can control how you react to it.

As far as where to serve her I would simply choose the most efficient and direct location and that be that. You are responding because the law requires you to the goal is to respond and get her the necessary paperwork.

Job hunting is tough. It is like a job in itself. Be creative in ways to earn money or networking contacts while you look for stable/full time work.

Have a great weekend!

[LSG]

DLS,

I am trying not listen to her, but part of me is starting to believe her these days. I don't know. My mind is pretty messed up today with everything I have had to do. I don't feel good about it at all even if I had to do it. It is not me to hurt anyone even when I have been hurt.

I do have confidence I am capable of doing any job and doing it well. I am worried about the other interview because they asked me if there is anything in my life that will affect me being focused on the job. Well I did not tell them with the divorce I will have mediation and hearings. I mean what was I suppose to say. I need the work. What I am suppose to say when if I am hired. It just sucks now because I don't want to lose any job I desparately need. It will just validate to her and to me some extent of what she is saying is true.

I am trying to look forward and having been doing better, but I feel this week I have slipped a little.

[LSG]

IDU,

I am trying to be tough, but I am experiencing some weakness as the various parts of the Divorce continue.

I still have hope and strength, but I am having a hard time showing that side of me today. I just found out she did not pay a $20 credit care bill of mine. So now it is over $100. I had to do a bank closure on the account which adversely affects my credit rating. It will be smaller payments, but I have no money coming from Census since I am finished with that job. It is another hit today.

I have to remain positive. I have to be positive I tell myself over and over. I will be okay no matter what. It is just harder to believe it.

I did e-mail her today and told her "I have never wanted our marriage to end. Love, my name." That is all I wrote. I know I should not have done it. I could not help myself. No response back, but I did not expect. It was stupid to do.

My week started out hopeful, but has been a little less positive.

I hope next week will be better. I keep praying for some good news and something for me.

[LSG]

CG,

It is nice to hear from you. I hope you are doing okay.

DBing is all about controlling yourself and your life. I know that so well. I can't control her, and I have never wanted to. I have always wanted to just share our lives together, and for us to have mutual respect for one another. I know I am little off topic in my last response to what you wrote. I just felt like saying it.

I will leave where I serve it as it is.

The job hunting is tough, but I will keep trying everything I can.

Have a great weekend too!

[TimeHeals]

What I am suppose to say when if I am hired. It just sucks now because I don't want to lose any job I desparately need. It will just validate to her and to me some extent of what she is saying is true.

Tell them you had no idea you would be divorcing. The thing is... you don't know what tomorrow brings, and I am not sure you will have to take much if any time off to deal with these things.

[TimeHeals]

I know I should not have done it. I could not help myself

You could help yourself, but you let your emotions dictate your actions.

Try to remember (and it is hard): do not act based on strong emotions. If you are feeling really wound up about something, take a walk, clean house, do something else until you are calm again.

[Steve McQueen]

.

..................

Think of your woman as a 24oz prime rib.
side dishes ala carte
You can savor every bite. Might even have dipped a couple in A1,
but, in the end, you never quite have it all.
The side dishes though made the meal complete.

..................

You never did buy that bicycle I suggested to you.
The experience of boogying down the road
as fast as you can is
a thrill that no one else can give you.

..................

Are you into Bob Marley?

Rise up this mornin'; smiled with the risin' sun.
Three little birds pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs of melodies pure and true; sayin',
"This is my message to you-ou-ou."

Meanin': "Don't worry about a thing, worry about a thing,
oh! Ev-ry little thing gonna be all right.

[LSG]

Well W has some new clothes and says that a friend at work's girlfriend does not wear it anymore is what she told my son, but it is still in the packaging. Funny, huh What lies she spreads. She is getting more and more confident. Too bad she will not be so confident I hope in the next week or two.

She is planning something else I don't know about yet.

I have to keep my eyes on her that she does not do something with the kids. She is very out of control. She is out to make my life as miserable as possible.

I have to remain strong.