I will musclegal. Quite the soap opera I've got going!
Went to see W last night to hang out after kids went to bed. Just chilled and talked and watched TV. She is so touchy feely now. Always in contact with me. She oozes affection.
We talked about what we want out of life, and out of a partner. I was trying to be honest, but I couldn't help but notice I was describing her in most ways. I didn't mention honesty and trustworthiness though! Not quite ready to give her those back yet.
After joking about my number one requirement being someone with a smokin' hot bod, I said I learned how important it is for me to be with someone smart, someone who's curious, and interested in new things, and likes to talk through ideas. She just nodded, I'm sure she knew she had that one nailed. I continued, saying I want someone who appreciates me, not for what I do, but for who I am, and what I add to this world. She smiled and said "That's not hard at all for you now." I have not felt such ego stroking from her since we were first dating. She is remarkably good at it. It's how she got me in the first place.
She said she wants someone who treats her gently. I knew she wasn't just referring to physically, but emotionally overall. I've been so gentle with her since we started this recent interaction, and she told me it's what's pulling her toward me. She convincingly said "If you keep that up, you've got me." She has looked back through her life and hates the hostility that's been so prevalent, in her childhood, her first marriage, and then how we got. I can see how she is blossoming without that cloud of hositility over her.
She's starting to re-introduce me back into her social world, and it's brought up a dilemma for me. Her social world is pretty much what OUR social world was before she left. I developed a new social world for myself as part of my GALing, and survival. It's easy for her to bring me into her world, but I don't quite know what to do about mine. I have a lot of single friends now, including some women. I'm not sure how well we'd "fit" into that world as a married couple. I guess I GAL'ed sufficiently, because I'm finding myself not wanting to entirely give up that world. What to do? I think it would be VERY unhealthy for me to leave it all behind and go back to my world being solely defined by my marriage.
