Donna's new outlook, finding herself #38

[Gardener]

Dopnna,
Hopefully you were just having a bad, internalizing-the-rejection (The Journey From Abandonment To Healing) moment, but

was I an underachieving wife? lazy, slacker, "didn't take care of him,"......all the old complaints that he dumped on me in the sudden flood after the bomb, things that I wasn't aware bothered him to such a deep extent and was never given the chance to address..., except that I should have been aware of it, should have known, should have worked harder at taking care of our marriage, of him, being an adult, in a relationship...all coming to the surface....blech.
Was my x right about me, about our marriage, all along?
I sometimes think that this is a life-lesson that I had to learn the hard way. That this is the way it had to happen, like he told his friends and family. And that he does have a better partner in the woman he left me for, the one he is still with.
Is my son an underachiever due to my example?[quote]But be good to yourself when you get like this. top it.

Stop the internal dialog. Do something, go somewhere different immediately.Break the pattern. Say NO! to this kind of self-blame thinking.

Donna, you could go through through all the coulda, woulda, shoulda's until dawn. It doesn't matter now. You seem to keep going back to this. The thing to really look at is how are you doing now? Have you worked on being the you that you want to be? Are you more content with your life now? Have you made changes in yourself that you are proud of?

^^^THIS^^^