Not sure which way to go anymore

[Mystik]

Had a nightmare earlier this week, I dreamt I was in a hole that was filling up with gravel, and no matter how much I jumped I could only brush the top of the hole with my fingertips, even with standing on the gravel that kept pouring in on me. I woke up shreiking from that dream. Don't need a degree to figure that one out.

I have a complete sense of apathy towards everything. Don't care about my job, don't care about my home, don't care about anything really. Which I know is not fair to anyone. My job is my career, I should have some concerns about that. It's not fair to my employer that I'm not able to give 100%. My home is a freaking mess, it's not fair to my son that he has to live in this chaos. My son deserves more of me than half-assed attention while I'm wrapped up in the computer. But I just feel so "why should I care? no one else seems to" that I can't get myself on track where I know I should be.