Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

IDU,

I am trying to be tough, but I am experiencing some weakness as the various parts of the Divorce continue.

I still have hope and strength, but I am having a hard time showing that side of me today. I just found out she did not pay a $20 credit care bill of mine. So now it is over $100. I had to do a bank closure on the account which adversely affects my credit rating. It will be smaller payments, but I have no money coming from Census since I am finished with that job. It is another hit today.

I have to remain positive. I have to be positive I tell myself over and over. I will be okay no matter what. It is just harder to believe it.

I did e-mail her today and told her "I have never wanted our marriage to end. Love, my name." That is all I wrote. I know I should not have done it. I could not help myself. No response back, but I did not expect. It was stupid to do.

My week started out hopeful, but has been a little less positive.

I hope next week will be better. I keep praying for some good news and something for me.