Just Confronted - A Litttle Confused

[Quicksilver264]

I firmly believe that the counseling we got last year only helped in the SHORT-TERM. Then things went downhill very badly.

I have exposed and am in the process of detachment, so I know there should be no relationship talk.

HOWEVER,

I notice alot on here that Alan will post quotes or reference getting the WAS into GOOD COUNSELING (Family Therapy), i.e. the kind MWD would approve of.

Am I allowed to suggest counseling? Maybe not explicitly say that it is for the Marriage, but that we need to get to an EXCELLENT counselor to resolve issues and help us communicate through this difficult time.

Maybe if we can get on the same page about needing to heal and seek therapy, a GOOD counselor can improve the situation.

So if we do go to good counseling together, I would assume that we would be allowed to talk about the relationship IN THERE? Correct?

Here is what I might say:

(QS has a very calm attitude, and matter of fact persona)

"I think we should see a different counselor. Our last one did nothing for us. We both are in bad places right now, so I think we should see an EXCELLENT professional in a safe environment and work through this together. Irregardless of whether the Marriage works, we need to see someone and work on THE ISSUES WE ARE HAVING RIGHT NOW. We both hurt each other extremely deeply, and maybe during this 90 day waiting period, we can get the help we both need"