He was served again w court appearance and notice of judgement and I had to as well tell him this last night. WHY is he not facing reality? He commented on how he didnt have money to buy car to drive down here to go to court and implied it was my fault!!!HOW in the world is it my fault? He had to make a simple phone call. HOW am I controlling him????
I just do not get it.
You should "get it"... You have been his "mommy" for so long that you don't know how to be a wife. Here is what you told us on your first couple of quotes on your initial thread
Quote:
I knew all his passwords bc he often forget them lol. He knew all of mine bc I just wanted to give them to him even though I know he must have forgotten them bc that’s how he’s always been. I paid all the bills. I allocated his money to our savings acct and his own personal acct. I knew everything and secretly Ioved the “power and control”
Now you have a problem because you want to reconcile and yet you still haven't let "little boy" grow up because you always took care of things for him. This is an issue for both of you. He is mad because he has been a child and now he is having a tantrum because he has never really had to have discipline in his life before now.
You need to stop being mommy and he needs to grow up and become a man. He can't do that unless you allow him to fail on his own. Your pattern is to save him. Bail him. Tell him what to do. That has to stop.
Mommy needs to let her little boy go and succeed or fail and do this on his own. Don't enable this behavior. Call him on it. Just like the credit card issue. He probably lost his mail or threw it accidently in the trash. Next time, tell him that you sent it and it is his responsibility what to do about it from now and to NOT bring it up again. Let him get angry with you. Anger is a child's way of showing respect.
