It's a matter of catching yourself and asking "is this thought really helping me right now?" Let's say you do figure out why she's doing what she's doing or saying what she's saying would that change anything? It wouldn't. I think it's soothing or comforting in some way to persist in this type of thinking, it's what we become used to and strangely enough it can be comforting. People often stick to things that are bad for them because in some way it produces a secure familiar feeling. We've all done it SR, no shame in it. That's my theory on the reason we do what we do, not that it changes anything but...
