You can get through to him Elvencat, but gradually over time with hard hitting facts.. it chips away at the wall... you keep expecting something you say will just knock him over and light up again.. it done'st work that way...
You are right, I keep expecting my intelligent H to make the connection. I saw the list you posted for Quicksilver about how an addict behaves. I am trying to take that to heart and remember to not expect a little lightbulb to suddenly pop up above his head when I'm speaking to him.
On the plus side, I've found a local marital therapist (who, funny enough, has a PhD and teaches at the same university as OW) who believes that one person in the marriage CAN make a difference, but that self-development is the most important aspect regardless of what the eventual outcome of the marriage is. I thought it sounded like he was reading me a synopsis of Divorce Busting as he told me his approach. And the best part is, he's affordable. He only takes clients one day a week and will only take on certain cases like mine because he feels so strongly that repairing marriage is the way to go when at all possible. He welcomes H if H decides to join me, but is more than willing to work with me one on one.
Me 32, H 34, DD 3 M 6, T 8 Bomb 03/10 OW Bomb 6/5/10 Separate & NC 6/28/10 My 2nd EA Thread
