You'd get conflicting information here because we've all been through different things and we're all different people. Experts would give the same advice (more or less). Experienced people (and not so experienced) are all suggesting based on that experience, not based on research, etc.
It comes down to what do you want? Do you want to "not be the doormat" or do you "want to be a better person if he decides to return"? I personally think that latter acknowledges your own responsibility in the failure of your marriage (or saving it). The 'going dark' idea, to me, is self protection. It makes mystery IF the other is watching, but if they aren't, they only see "bitchy" or "cold". It may turn them around either way because they aren't getting the support. I just think he hasn't been gone that long to be turning down chances for you to shine.
