I hope you can understand all the complex psychology at work in your wife's mind right now...
After 9 years together she's radically changed the dynamic on both of you... it's a huge upset to her too
Infidelity messes with your head bigtime, it puts a lot of strain on it and messes the brain chemistry up something fierce. She likley doen'st even understand what's going on with her.
She's going to be moody, and agressive, and flippant, and self-righteous, not to mention tense...
She may mask those things but her head is severely messed up right now and will be for several weeks.
The way to move it along to a healthy state is to pressure her with reality of marriage, divorce, betrayal by friends and family that are close to her...
