This may be considered pursuit, but I told W she was welcome to sleep in the bed if she wanted to and I would leave her alone (like I mostly have been for months now), but I didn't press the issue. After being rejected (again) I left the room and went to the bedroom so sit and I had tears in my eyes. Then she came in to talk and said, "I don't understand why you want to stay married to me. A couple of days ago, you were trying to kick me out." (I was filling out the TSO a couple of days ago.) Then she went off on my past mistakes again - how I didn't seem happy with her, how I was controlling, etc. I didn't argue with her - I just said, "I understand.".
She also told me that she and the OM agreed a few days ago to break off communication. (for like the fifth time - yea right). I said then we should change her cell number to avoid contact, and she started making excuses for why she can't do that. The OM is supposed to move in a month or so. My fear is that they will maintain contact after he leaves.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
This may be considered pursuit, but I told W she was welcome to sleep in the bed if she wanted to and I would leave her alone (like I mostly have been for months now), but I didn't press the issue.
KNOCK OFF THE PURSUIT KEN!
YOU KNOW that's PURSUIT... KNOCK IT OFF, you are just DRIVING Her AWAY trying to get some you damn fool!
Sorry Red, but seriously, inviting your wayward and affair engaged wife to your bed isn't considered pursuit?
Heck Ken, even I can smell that one literally from miles away.. stop chasing her... This is DBusting 101 stuff you should know by now...
While your wife is wayward she does NOT want to be NEAR you and when you push for that you just ANTAGONIZE her.. attacking the affair and speaking up for your family she can respect, but trying to get some in the process kinda takes all that respect away...
Just chuckling at the words, Allen. I TOTALLY agree with you.
I thought after WH moved to the basement 8 weeks ago that he'd be back in our room within 2 weeks. He wasn't.
So, I did a SERIOUS 180 - stopped calling, stopped texting, made him make his own coffee, do his own laundry, stopped holding dinner for him, etc.
At first, he was delighted I'd stopped the pursuit (although he wasn't wild about doing his own laundry!). Now that OW has proven she can't hold up her end of the fantasy, things are starting to turn around.
We haven't reconciled yet, but there ARE signs of pursuit from HIM (it's like I'm in 8th grade again with all the times he's "accidentally" brushed up against me. LOL!). He's clearly confused, and I get the impression he'd like to resume a physical relationship with me, but he's not sure how to go about it without actually admitting he was (gasp!) wrong. Alas, the male ego...
He'll get no encouragement from me.
I haven't been chased in a very long time, and am finding some amusement among the heartache. Let's see just how rusty his skill are...LOL!
Keep it up SR... Detachment works better than anything else I have seen or read about here... Once they realize you aren't in their pocket anymore they have to come looking for you.. marriage is as much a drug as infidelity is, but its a HEALTHY one!
Make him chase you... Make him work for it, or it wont' last...
It's like telling your children to sit up straight and chew with your mouth closed - sometimes it has to be repeated again and again in order to sink in...
