It really is the words and tone of voice that you use when trying to figure out what's wrong with your W. Let me give you a little secret, most women hate for the H to say "what's wrong" b/c it is usually implied that she's not acting right and he's agitated over it. Coach had a wonderful example of a response.
Awesome insight guys. I will definitely change wording and hope this makes her a little more comfortable in discussing what is on her mind. I really do care. I told her the other day that I really enjoy seeing her smile because it lights up the room. I did not get a reaction, but I was not looking for one, that is truly how I feel. It is good to see her smiling again.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
Since things are so stressed between the two of you, it might just be best to go pick your son up into your arms and find something for him and you to do together. Then when things are calmer, you can approach her about the issue of yelling.
I will do this. It will bring my BP down as well. I really would hate if S would end up resenting W for this later in life. W is going through a lot, as am I and S for that matter, and the stress needs to come down.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
BTW, I don't know if you realize it or not but the whining child clinging to his mother is a perfect picture of how some LBH's act when they are scared their WAW is going to leave them. And guess what? Remember how you said your W "hates" for S4 to do that? That is exactly how W's feel whenever the H us whiney and clingy. (Just thought I'd throw that in...free of charge.)
I do not think I have done that in a while, I have really been keeping all of this inside since our separation. That also is how I ended up in the hospital last week though. I know this but I did not tell her. The doctor metioned it was stress when she was in the room. When he left, she asked,” you are not under a lot of stress are you?” (AND she was serious) I know I did a double take, but I told her a little from work. How could she NOT know that she and her sister and mother are the main cause of my stress? Ot to mention the anxiety attacks, but I have not told her about those other than the one I had while she was in the car which scared me enough to put me in the hospital for 3 days.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
Usually it is something as simple as the way you smile at her or the way you look at her. I think the sexiest thing on earth is a wink. I don't know why, but it just is.
That is hilarious. I know a big one with W is winking also. But I have done it a few times recently and she just looked at me like, what the hell are you doing. Not the reaction I used to get. Made me really sad, because it used to make her giddy. But we are not there anymore I guess.
