Now to figure out what F02 error code is on my washer...grrr
I found answers to my washer probs at the manufacturer's website in the online manual/troubleshooting. if they can figure out how to make it show an error code, why can't it just say what the prob is. My washer shows codes, My dryer scolds me with statements like: Push pause before you open the door!!
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
It was a relaxing but dull weekend. Almost have the mess I made in DS's room cleaned up. Bags for goodwill, bags for my nephew. I know what fits him (not much). He is growing so fast he has developed stretch marks on his back.
I fixed the closet rods and hung some other hooks for his belts and ties. I still have the drill out cuz DD wants some hooks in her closet now too. So, I am off to lowes and costco this morning. I want to be home by noon...Temps will hit 110 today...yuk.
Oh...and still getting the I miss yous from H. I am responding with "you know where I stand." and "Under the circumstances, I will not talk about this".
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
Oh...and still getting the I miss yous from H. I am responding with "you know where I stand." and "Under the circumstances, I will not talk about this".
You're handling this brilliantly!
If he wasn't doing this before and now he is, it means the shine is starting to wear off the fantasy. Keep interactions friendly but brief.
Now that summer's here, can you take the kids and go somewhere that WH has fond memories of or someplace he always wanted to go with you but didn't? Go, have fun, and make sure kids report it back to him. It will further drive home what he's missing by not being there.
Yes a lot to report. Nothing really exciting...more of the same from H. He wore me down and got me into R talk yesterday. He is thinking, thinking, thinking and gets discouraged not being able to talk to me.
In person. I don't remember it all b/c I was focused on keeping control of my emotions.(and my mouth) After 30 mins of talk about kids, mostly me filling him in: H: What do you want to do about us? Me: Don't know that I have anything to do. This is your issue. H: I thought by this time, I would have figured it out, but I can't. I want to come home but I can't leave [her]. I have been in counseling every week for a year and still can't figure it out. I still think she could live in DD18's room and we could all get along. Me: (with a smile and a slap on the table) You have to stop fantasizing along these lines. It is not going to happen, no way, no how. You ruined any possibility of her staying a friend of ours when you began your affair with her. H: nodded and hung head. Me: you know where I stand. H: yeah..dump her and come home. Me: yes, but coming home is off the table. You would need to be alone for awhile. I do not want any more back and forths. H: Yeah, that's a good idea. H: I feel so obligated on both sides (he says on both sides when he means OW). I just kinda made a frowny whatever face.
The convo went on but was back and forth mixed w/ friends and family talk. Walking to the car he made no secret of checking me out. He talked about trading in his jag for something cheaper. I told him that would be silly, just wait for a slightly used 2011 XJ. The one we have is an 06, bought used to replace the one he totaled in 08. I asked him not to do any switching stuff around just now. He seemed relieved.
I wish I had continued the convo about obligation. That is her hook I guess. (She's making 70k in a school year, she'll be ok) How can he feel obligated to her? Yes she left her H for my H, but she did that the day after I kicked him out the 1st time, saying it was a coincidence...she had been planning it for some time. Well which is it? I know he has not committed to anything, he won't even move out of the motel.
How do I counter that kind of manipulation? Do I want to? I wish I had known how easily manipulated he was!! I have always been direct and honest...pouty and in need of rescue would have gotten me my way more!
What do you think of all this???
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
How do I counter that kind of manipulation? Do I want to? I wish I had known how easily manipulated he was!! I have always been direct and honest...pouty and in need of rescue would have gotten me my way more!
What do you think of all this???
Hmmm...he obviously equally (at least) wants to come home. He does feel obligated. He knows that you are willing to wait for HIM to choose.
Ok here are some brainstorms. It's up to you to weigh pros and cons: +soon, in your time, you could tell him you are done waiting and will be filing for D
OR +you could pack his stuff up but not say you are filing for D
OR +you could think of ways to help him dump her- he feels obligated to her--ha! he feels trapped and stuck???
OR +you start acting like you don't care anymore and give the impression you are dating
OR +you let everything go to sh!t so he sees you need him
OR +you ask to go with him to his counselor
OK now for the record, these are all just brainstorms! I know the one about acting needy isn't DB and isn't too attractive but it is a form of manipulation that she is using. That's why I threw it in there.
Don't you see your power actually- he admitted he wants you and the family.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Most of his stuff is gone. clothes, computer, etc. It would take weeks to pack up his office. I did set up the Wii and other workout stuff in there tho. He saw that the time he was here.
If I tell him I am done waiting, he would allow a D and start a pity party for himself.
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+you could think of ways to help him dump her- he feels obligated to her--ha! he feels trapped and stuck???
Not sure how! I feel like he is looking for me to toss him a life-preserver. But...I would have to do a 180 back and possibly invite cake-eating again.
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+you let everything go to sh!t so he sees you need him
Nah...not me at all!!!
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+you ask to go with him to his counselor
WAY to scary!
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Don't you see your power actually- he admitted he wants you and the family.
This didn't occur to me! If this is true, and it makes sense, I should do nothing. Or rather, keep doing what I have been doing. If he truly wants home, I gave him a life-line in re-stating my position. Right?
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
My brother called a couple of times while we were talking. I looked at my phone and hit ignore. On the way to the car, phone rang again but it was DD16. H angrily said when he heard it ring, "take that. Your boyfriend obviously needs to talk to you." I said "no this time it is DD16" and answered. Ha .
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
