<<<sigh>>>...my H still hasn't filed the papers unless he did it today. I sent him an email yesterday asking about the status of the filing and the email got kicked back for some reason. So, I was driving past my H's office building on my way home yesterday and I saw his car there so I decided to go up and ask in person. When I walked in his office he seemed adjitatated that I showed up without warning. I saw the divorce papers were sitting in the same exact spot I had left them in 12 days before. He asked why I was there and I explained that I just wanted to find out if the papers had been filed. He told me that he thinks "the whole thing is weird" ...I asked "What whole thing?" He said that I am pushing to get the D filed. I said it has been over 3 years and I think it is weird that he can't commit to the M and that he would prefer just to continue to sit on the fence. I can tell all of this bothers him and he isn't happy about the situation but I don't see him changing. He claims he hasn't filed the papers because he needs to review them. I gave him several opportunities to tell me what he thinks is weird other than I am pushing for the D and he couldn't tell me anything. My take on it is that he wants everything to keep going on his way with no real committment. I can't. That isn't what I signed up for. For whatever reason, he has done the bait and switch...and I don't care all that much about this new guy who only cares about what he wants.
I was thinking about how I have spent the last 3 years trying to understand my H and why he feels the way he feels. He could probably understand how I feel if he thought about it for about 3 seconds.
Grace and Twink-I agree that I don't have to look at it as limbo but I am one of those people who are either all in or all out. I don't want to spend another year wondering if my H will change his mind. If he does ever change his mind and can be more of the person I need him to be, then we can re-evaluate at that time. I just won't feel comfortable dating other men if I am married and don't feel that is a good example for my kids. I know I don't have to be in a relationship to be happy but I would prefer to find companionship after all, my nest will be empty in another year.
I told my H I would like the D to be final before the end of the year and in my state, the D can be final 6 months after filing. So, he has until the end of the month to file. we will see if that happens.
I really want to spend most of the next year focusing on my kids since time is running out with them living at home...however, it would be nice to know that I am free to date on occasion if someone nice were to come along.
...I asked "What whole thing?" He said that I am pushing to get the D filed. I said it has been over 3 years and I think it is weird that he can't commit to the M and that he would prefer just to continue to sit on the fence. I can tell all of this bothers him and he isn't happy about the situation but I don't see him changing. He claims he hasn't filed the papers because he needs to review them. I gave him several opportunities to tell me what he thinks is weird other than I am pushing for the D and he couldn't tell me anything. My take on it is that he wants everything to keep going on his way with no real committment. I can't. That isn't what I signed up for. For whatever reason, he has done the bait and switch...and I don't care all that much about this new guy who only cares about what he wants.