Quite a night last night when H came home and asked me to check his pulse, and I listened to his heart, and we hit the ER until 2am. All seems ok now, but who sleeps after that? H allowed me to be with him the whole time, he seemed to even appreciate me, and he didn't squirm when people asked how we are related.
I truly believe that H bottles so much up inside that he could easily kill himself with stress while looking calm cool and collected. He makes comments from time to time about money, and that he will never be out of debt, and last night while hooked up to all the machines he fretted how he would pay these bills now?
I am torn what to do, how much to help if at all without jeopardizing my own finances.
H has been initiating PT/intimacy. It concerns me after my surgeries and how my body has changed and what do I do to reciprocate and enjoy? more research.....
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
A renewed kind of pressure from H. He has a new type of event he's doing this weekend and he has a list of things he wants me to do for him, and has asked numerous times what my plans are and what time I am coming. It's an adjustment for sure after so many years of only thinking about me and my schedule....
Guess I better get busy!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Thanks trusting. Things with H are moving along, I'm liking it! The little niceties about him are returning - he held the water fountain on for me, he fixed the shear pin in the bush hog (although I broke it again), he's going to let me borrow his truck to travel to a horse show while mine is in the shop being fixed from the damage from the deer I hit at 70mph. He's also started doing some laundry at home again so I think I need to get busy and consolidate my stuff in the closets and make room in preparation for when he starts moving clothes back in.
I'm sad about other things this weekend. My nieces stepD is a brand new adult with a young baby, and she is messing up her life and said she won't lose the zero that she's with until the next guy is lined up. It's so sad to see the danger she is putting her baby in while with this guy. She is young and smart and pretty but doesn't think much of herself. I know I can't 'fix' this, but any ideas how to help?
On this fathers day, my mom and stepdad are in the middle of one of their worst ever fights. 79 years old and they are threatening each other with lawyers. I asked my mom what started it and what they were fighting about and she couldn't remember.
Today H left on a trip for most of the week, he gave me a nice hug before he left and then called while he was driving to the airport and we talked a long time. Gosh, maybe I'm going to miss him while he's gone!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Back in the old days whenever H or I would be away from home we always started and ended our days with a call to each other. That all went away almost 7 years ago.
Until now. H left on his trip on Sunday and he's called each morning and night and txtd or emailed. Sweet.
Last night we had bad storms and a community not far from me got ripped apart pretty bad. H has been the stormspotter, and last night he called and stayed on the phone with me to alert me to what was coming while I ran from barn to barn to get everything closed up before the rain hit.
What a difference from the storms he was on the phone with ow and he had to run to her town and help. Oh yeah, of course I wouldn't let him go alone. haha
Fun day planned tomorrow with family and gnieces/nephews! I'll get to feel like a kid all over again! weeeeeeeeee
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I'm feeling emotionally exhausted from dealing with problems of other family members and coworkers. It must be a full moon! One night I dropped into bed and never heard H come to bed. I woke in the night with a start and wondered why he didn't come to bed, and then realized he was next to me.
I had a bunch of things to do for H while he was out of town, including mailing a bunch of packages for him. He had asked for insurance to be put on one of them and I forgot when I mailed it. He asked why I didn't do it. No thanks for the 99 things I did right, just pointing out the 1 thing I did wrong. Ok, so that's my H! Actually that's how so many people are, and I have grown and learned to deal with it but that doesn't mean I have to like it!
I have 2 little girls all ready to go to the horseshow this weekend and it cancelled due to weather. I'm not sure who is more disappointed! The girls or me!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
This has been the most gorgeous weather week! I'm not sure it could get any better!
H continues to be friendly, we talk about things, we spend time together. Still waiting for the physical touch and natural closeness we had to return. H does not initiate that but sporadically initiates . Still waiting for my first kiss. Would that be a virgin kiss seeing it's been so many years since the last one??
There's been a few times when H has really really irritated me and I had all I could to do to keep from snapping at him. I stuffed it because in the BIG picture it was not important. Who knows, maybe he's still dipping his toes in the water to see if it's safe.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
. Still waiting for my first kiss. Would that be a virgin kiss seeing it's been so many years since the last one??