Exposed finally,,limbo land

[Optimust]

Complete meltdown -
Where to begin,,hmm, Tuesday night before I go to bed, the last thing I hear is OM incoming TM, and her type response, can’t sleep for 2 hours because of this. First thing in the morning I hear at 5:58 am is his incoming TM. I’m very upset, and decide to use VOR, and fortunately or unfortunately I got the stuff I thought. Them playfully arguing who has or has not said ‘I love you’, a lot of ohh honey, etc, and ‘I’m so mad at H for keeping me from talking to you for last 4.5 years, and lastly, ‘I go see the lawyer Monday, maybe I’ll tell him H is crazy(so she can stay in house)’, and ‘what was that? Take him for all he’s worth? Oh, ha ha’. Absolutely nothing good that I can gain from this. Run to bro’s house to get his opinion, and he is livid, calling her a 14 year old school girl. Gotta get lawyer now.
Go home, obviously still very upset. Start with, your TM constantly in front of me and the girls is extremely disrespectful, either stop, turn of phone, or do it outside. She stops, and turns it off.
We get into a discussion about the seperation, and who will live where, and she brings up that she would rather D now(probably why she is going to lawyer), I push for seperation, and tell her that our problems in the M are 50/50, but her A is 100% hers. I let her know she has the choice here, either to rebuild the marriage and family, or destroy the marriage and family, she says nothing. We talk about how and when to tell the DD’s.
Then she says, “you’re going to be pissed about this”, and shows me an e-mail that she has sent to her dad, brother, SIL, my bro, and bro’s W, says:
“To my closest family members,,I want to separate from H,,he’s in pain, but I’m in extreme pain too,,,4-5 events explained that all happened from yr 1-10 of our M, none in last 5, except 3 painful paragraphs detailing the depression she suffers from the loss of our son at birth 3 years ago that almost killed her also. Stating H didn’t go to any Dr appts, H worked to conscientiously just like my dad, I wish I insisted H go to appts, Dr told me baby had died and to stay with us, I just wanted to go with baby to heaven, but I knew I had 2 DD’s and a family to care for. I know I have been disappointing all of you but I have to make myself happy for once in my life and not worry about what my family thinks. Life is too short, I don't want to end up like my mom in nursing home pretending to be happy. I hope you will someday understand.
At this point, OM is the only person that is her friend in the world, at least in her eyes.
So, I am pretty darn sure that this is going to be an extremely tough save, I’m not giving up, but I am going to focus on DD’s, and not so much on W, as she seems pretty signed off on M. If she does actually separate instead of D, we will see what happens.
I am preparing to be served, will decide at that time how to approach that situation.
Sorry so long, but I think you know why.