I agree with you Laura that she does feel creeped out now that she is older. She has told me so. We have two children, a boy and girl. She has actually said to me that I should understand how she feels now that I have a daughter. Truthfully, I didn't until you and Sandi pointed it out. Sometimes hearing things from other, more objective parties can bring one to their senses.
I can't tell you why i justified my actions at the time, I truly do not know. I fell in love with her the first time I met her, that's all i can say. I can only tell you that I have honored my commitment to her, have never even thought about being with anyone else, and want to try and save my marriage.
I love my wife and my children. I understand completely how I appear to everyone. I am not here trying to condone my actions. I never did anything like that before. I was married once before meeting her, recently divorced. My first wife was my age. We met in High School. You have to believe me when I say It's truly not in my nature to want young women. I don't walk around lusting after kids. That is very icky. I think I was attracted to her youthful nature, not necessarily her youth.
Sandi May be right. I may not be able to save my marriage. It may already be too late. The pain I have caused her just from the realization that I stole her youth may have done me in already. I stopped writing this just to call her up and apologize, unconditionally. I told her I understand why she feels the way she does. She says that she has forgiven me. Only time will tell. I have recently turned to God, not to change my wife's heart, but to change me. I pray every day.
I will take all criticisms and chastising anyone feels the need to give me. I want to save my marriage. I will not give up due to guilt. Please help.
