Once you have stepped outside the ring and can truly detach and see things clearly, most of your confusion should clear up. It's the constant ups and downs w/the mlcer that throw you for a loop.
The anger, etc., will continue for a while. Let him fume!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
