She repeatedly insists that the Marriage was 200% over in the beginning of May. There was absolutely no going back for her. "I don't love you like a Husband, and I haven't for a while now". She said she reached her "breaking point" right then.
She felt unappreciated and not very sexy and began talking with a married guy about marital problems. One thing led to another, bam emotional/sex chat affair and nude pics. She didn't feel bad because she ALREADY knew she was going to divorce me.
Then she reconnects with this FB guy, who also has been through a Divorce, and he starts giving her attention. One thing leads to another, and nude pics and sex chats, with later on planned video chats.
She says she lied "only to save me extra pain" because she already knew she was hurting me by being 200% committed to divorce. She gave me false hope about a "chance" and continued these sex chats.
Is is possible any of this is true, or is she just re-writing marital history and justifying what she knows to be wrong?
MWD writes in DR that some spouses are truly too far gone to do ANYTHING about, and that you really can't apply anything to them. But she also says you can't tell the difference.
I have read repeatedly, the ILYBAMILWY is the direct result of a EA/PA, and causes the WAW to rewrite history to make justifications.
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 06/10/1009:39 PM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
Do you own the movie 300? Watch it tonight. Study how King Leonidas RESPONDS to everything. Listen to his tone and his words. Be Leonidas.
Originally Posted By: Quicksilver264
But in another post in this thread you advised to "make the home inviting". You mean by carrying my fair share and more around here? And just being a happy, fun-loving person that enjoys life and does not tick off his wife in any way?
Can I do that while still being detached? And what are going Dim/Dark, and are they applicable in this situation.
Do these things for YOU. Move forward and "Act as if" she is already gone. Do you like where your bed is? If not, move it to where you want it. Do you like the sheets? If not, go by ones you like. "I am sorry you feel that way" is a very good response to any venom coming from W.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
She repeatedly insists that the Marriage was 200% over in the beginning of May. There was absolutely no going back for her. "I don't love you like a Husband, and I haven't for a while now". She said she reached her "breaking point" right then.
She felt unappreciated and not very sexy and began talking with a married guy about marital problems. One thing led to another, bam emotional/sex chat affair and nude pics. She didn't feel bad because she ALREADY knew she was going to divorce me.
Then she reconnects with this FB guy, who also has been through a Divorce, and he starts giving her attention. One thing leads to another, and nude pics and sex chats, with later on planned video chats.
She says she lied "only to save me extra pain" because she already knew she was hurting me by being 200% committed to divorce. She gave me false hope about a "chance" and continued these sex chats.
Is is possible any of this is true, or is she just re-writing marital history and justifying what she knows to be wrong?
MWD writes in DR that some spouses are truly too far gone to do ANYTHING about, and that you really can't apply anything to them. But she also says you can't tell the difference.
I have read repeatedly, the ILYBAMILWY is the direct result of a EA/PA, and causes the WAW to rewrite history to make justifications.
Quicksilver264,
There are still things you can do. However you may as well start living like a bachelor, because thats what you are.
She repeatedly insists that the Marriage was 200% over in the beginning of May. There was absolutely no going back for her. "I don't love you like a Husband, and I haven't for a while now". She said she reached her "breaking point" right then.
She felt unappreciated and not very sexy and began talking with a married guy about marital problems. One thing led to another, bam emotional/sex chat affair and nude pics. She didn't feel bad because she ALREADY knew she was going to divorce me.
Then she reconnects with this FB guy, who also has been through a Divorce, and he starts giving her attention. One thing leads to another, and nude pics and sex chats, with later on planned video chats.
She says she lied "only to save me extra pain" because she already knew she was hurting me by being 200% committed to divorce. She gave me false hope about a "chance" and continued these sex chats.
Is is possible any of this is true, or is she just re-writing marital history and justifying what she knows to be wrong?
MWD writes in DR that some spouses are truly too far gone to do ANYTHING about, and that you really can't apply anything to them. But she also says you can't tell the difference.
I have read repeatedly, the ILYBAMILWY is the direct result of a EA/PA, and causes the WAW to rewrite history to make justifications.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
She repeatedly insists that the Marriage was 200% over in the beginning of May.
Did you validate or argue your POV?
Quote:
There was absolutely no going back for her.
Feelings change, but this IS how SHE FEELS.
Quote:
"I don't love you like a Husband, and I haven't for a while now".
Than you have work to do. STOP CHASING AFTER THIS WOMAN. That looks PATHETIC and makes you LESS attractive. STAND UP TO HER NICELY.
Quote:
She said she reached her "breaking point" right then.
So everything you were doing needs to be examined. Step away and become the NEW YOU. 180's.
Quote:
She felt unappreciated and not very sexy and began talking with a married guy about marital problems. One thing led to another, bam emotional/sex chat affair and nude pics. She didn't feel bad because she ALREADY knew she was going to divorce me.
This man LISTENED to her. This man seduced her. This man was meeting her needs.
Quote:
Is is possible any of this is true, or is she just re-writing marital history and justifying what she knows to be wrong?
Do not focus your energy on this.
Quote:
MWD writes in DR that some spouses are truly too far gone to do ANYTHING about, and that you really can't apply anything to them. But she also says you can't tell the difference.
CORRECT. Just start making POSITIVE CHANGE to YOU......
Your wife is going to TEST YOU. THIS IS A TEST. Do you want to fail the test? This test is REAL.
DO NOT BE NEEDY and pursue your wife. You need to draw her back by all the changes.
Go buy some new clothes. Go get a new hair style. Go get some new friends. If they are hot babes, great! Can you walk up to hot women and give them compliments and carry a good conversation?
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I have read repeatedly, the ILYBAMILWY is the direct result of a EA/PA, and causes the WAW to rewrite history to make justifications.
You answered your own question.
Sometimes it is not even to make justifications. Have you never gone to bed drunk, feeling or thinking one way, only to wake up in the morning, knowing what you thought, did, or said was not reality?
I think sometimes, perhaps even often, these waywards get so whacked out on affair high, they just plain rewrite history. They actually believe the crap they are saying. This was absolutely the case in my house.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
Darn, my post got messed up. Basically I stated my experience was that my hubby stated for months that he really, truly was done with me and there was nothing left. A weaker person would have given up- I persisted and did not waver in my attempt at healing the marriage. Eventually his script was the same but I saw small signs from him that lead me to believe otherwise.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
But in another post in this thread you advised to "make the home inviting". You mean by carrying my fair share and more around here? And just being a happy, fun-loving person that enjoys life and does not tick off his wife in any way?
Can I do that while still being detached? And what are going Dim/Dark, and are they applicable in this situation.
QS, make the HOME more inviting, but YOU no.. you wtihold emotional contact .. show nothing, give nothing...
Fix broken windows, paint the bathroom, mend the busted fence in the yard, all of that stuff...
When you show fear, sadness, etc your wife is gonig to get a kick out of it and push your buttons even more, she wants to HURT you.. its the addiction coming out there... its a VERY AGGRESSIVE addiction driven by guilt and pain... and it wants to hurt something near... you are the chosen target...
Suit of Armor my man... suit of emotional armor...
Make the HOME nice, but YOU do NOT open up to her, give her nothing.
