Thanks guys. I knew you would understand where I was coming from. It's totally nothing to do with anything done wrong, just a shining moment in my calamity jane life!
Insecurity is very hard to overcome when the person you used to rely on to give you a boost is now the very person that tore your tentative grasp on it to shreds. His previous rejection surfaces in my mind every other minute of the day. It's not his problem to deal with, I need to find a way around it but, again, not really knowing where we are headed isn't helping. I feel like this is just a convenient situation for him, nothing more. I look at his actions and attitude and it seems like he wants this to be a real R, but the words to solidify that are just not there and I'm not comfortable saying them outloud to him out of fear of him rejecting them or just parroting what I say.
Ugh....can I please get to that Kibbutz now? How about a convent? Nice and peace and quiet with no worries about how someone is going to perceive me - we all know how attractive those habits are!!! LOL
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
