EC you are doing a pretty darn good job, I just think you need more confidence here, you're hurt and scared and frustrated I get that, but its NOT HELPING you to act on it...
One of the things in my own life that I've always struggled with is having confidence in my own abilities. When something needs to get done, I jump in and do it and then question my ability to finish it. I need to learn how to not need the validation of others for my self-esteem. I do feel, though, that, with the help of everyone here, I'm starting to come out of my own "fog" and get a grip on my own life.
Originally Posted By: Allen A
This is the time to be an adult, a parent, a partner in marriage... not the time to get scared and back down or worry...
your husband is not filing or pursuing divorce.. He's just "cake-eating"... an expression we use here on this forum to illustrate marital exploitation.. that is.. he wants to "date" and to be "married" at the same time... and you are allowing it
Exposure and getting closer to friends and family, educating them is how you get that dealt with...
How is your exposure group doing? So they know your husband is cheating on you, but they aren't saying anything to him? No one is contacting him and giving him a piece of their mind and telling him to knock it off?
What is the response of your exposure to your exposure group so far?
Ok, so on the exposure group. They all now know what's up. Right now they are mostly responding to me directly, or posting on my wall on Facebook. The people who talk to me in person are the ones who are the closest to the situation and they still aren't comfortable yet with direct confrontation. I'm working on them, but it's going slow, and they are each so afraid of upsetting H even though he's not the one they should be worrying about. H was definitely angry about the public comments from my friends, and I can see that they were making him feel embarrassed and maybe a little bit guilty.
I've been thinking about something... I know that right now I should be treating H like an addict with a dangerous drug. I'm going to explore how to create a sort of intervention. I don't know if that is even a feasable idea at this point, but maybe if everyone close to the situation were all together, and created a united front, then they wouldn't feel so alone in trying to confront H.
Has anything like this been talked about on the forum?
Me 32, H 34, DD 3 M 6, T 8 Bomb 03/10 OW Bomb 6/5/10 Separate & NC 6/28/10 My 2nd EA Thread
