Libby, SA, M&H, Kissak, PEI, Jack thank you for your continues support...love you all <3
Libby - for some reason I still care if my H is upset with me, I probably shouldn't, but I do. I hate being dark, it's not me...the fixer, caretaker traits in my personality are very strong, so being "unavailable" is very hard for me. I know this is about me, what's good for me...but the fixer, caretaker traits are part of me as well. Very confusing, but I'll figure it out one of these days.
SA - You ask "Do you feel better when you are dim with your H?" Yes and no, I feel better when I don't see him in a way that there is no drama and I can concentrate on me. But worst when I interact with him, I hate the way we are to each other when I'm dark and after the bad feeling stays for a while. Maybe there is a middle way that I haven't found yet.
M&H - I hear what's you are saying. I love all the support and input and opinions and I really appreciate every single one of my DB friends that are going through this with me. But that doesn't mean that I blindly follow the most popular view. It's fantastic that I get all of these opinions, because sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own drama that you don't see the big picture, or don't look at things from different angles. And my DB friends really help with that. In the end it's only me who can decide whats good for me. And it is an ongoing struggle....but I'm moving forward...slowly but I'm moving.
Quote:
Just be Mila
Wow you know that this is the best advice?...I have to remember that that is the most important thing. Thank you for that.
Kissak - thank for writing that you went through similar horrible session...and look at you now...he is back. Good for me to see that no matter how "final" things look they could always change in the future.
PEI - thanks for stopping by...another fellow Canadian
Jack - No matter if you visit my tread to give me some 2x4s or to offer encouragement...you are always a breath of fresh air with your realistic view on things...thank you for that
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
