Drawing a line and grabbing the seeds!

[cire2]

Thank you

cire

[faithisbelieving]

Cire...you still crack me up. Thanks for supporting me through these past few years. FIB

[cire2]

I was in Lowe's the other day pushing my cart around when I
collided with a young guy pushing his cart.

I said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife,too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

I said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blond hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

I said, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

Most of us old guys are helpful like that.

[Reincarnated]

I had that outfit (even though I'm only 5'1"...)

[cire2]

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine
whether or not a retiree should be put in an old age home?"



"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon,
a teacup and a bucket to the retiree and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket
because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

[cire2]

And some folks think that all the smart people work on Wall Street OR
for the Government in Washington, D.C.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Cowboy Bank Loan
A Cowboy from Laramie , Wyoming , walked into a bank in New York City
and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was
going to Paris for an international rodeo for two weeks and needed to
borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.

The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of
security for the loan, so the Cowboy handed over the keys to a new
Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank.

The Cowboy produced the title and everything checked out. The loan
officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and
apologized for having to charge 12% interest. Later, the bank's
president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Cowboy from
Wyoming for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private
underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the Cowboy returned, repaid the $5,000 and the
interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked
you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a highly
sophisticated investor and multimillionaire with real estate and
financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a
large number of wind turbines around Laramie , Wyoming . What puzzles
us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The good 'ole Wyoming boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I
park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there
when I return?"

Don't mess with Cowboys.

[cire2]

The Woman Marine Pilot







The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.
But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.
“Janie, do you have a story to share?'
''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy.
She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all
she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't
break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets,
killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke,
and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher.
'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."

[cire2]

A little known fact....

The first testicular guard, the "Cup",
Was used in Hockey in 1874 and
The first helmet was used in 1974.
That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain
is also important.



Ladies.....Quit Laughing.

[cire2]

CATHOLIC COFFEE


Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."


The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."


The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."


Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter,


Slim,


Tall,


38D breast,


24" waist and


34" hips.


When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."

[Gypsy]

Cire..

How I enjoy your jokes!

Now only if I could remember them!

*hugs*